Interesting Times: Update 11 – Don’t Look Up
Science time, gentle readers. My thyroglobulin level is 1.8, much like the 1.5 it was the last two times.
That number is evidence of thyroid tissue – and since I don’t have a thyroid anymore, it’s evidence of thyroid cancer tissue. It means that last year’s surgery and radioactive iodine treatment didn’t quite get everything.
I knew this was a possibility. The variant I had is hard to eliminate.
Now, to see what’s going on, to decide what to do next, I’ll have an ultrasound, MRI and CT scan.
I hate that cancer is such a trope everywhere. Writers want drama so they give one of their characters cancer. I hate that because it feels like lazy writing, but moreover, I hate it because cancer isn’t episodic. It shows up and it doesn’t just leave. It’s a part of my life now, it’s just THERE, and I hate that so, so much.
When well-meaning people talk about how “I beat cancer,” it makes me shudder. When they talk as if cancer couldn’t possibly come back, it feels like they’re daring it to. I’ve written about this before.
I don’t mind fighting it. It sucks but it has to be done. I don’t mind the thought that I’ll die someday. Everybody will. What’s hard is the idea of it always either being present, or threatening to be.
Background on these interesting times:
First post – Diagnosis
Update 1 – The plan / fear
Update 2 – Giving blood
Update 3 – Post-surgery
Update 4 – The other half of the time
Update 5 – Summer is icumen in (infection)
Update 6 – Grossly unremarkable
Update 7 – All about RAI
Update 8 – Withdrawing
Update 9 – Isolation
Update 10 – A neck, in 5 pictures